Whisper Hello, I Miss You Quite Terribly
by caprijoy
Summary: Home for the holidays after five years of silence. Sometimes the greatest understandings come with no words at all, sometimes all you need to give you clarity is the echo of loneliness. Mark/Lexie, AU Holiday Story.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of its characters.**

Don't hate me for starting another story, please. I just wanted to have a story where I can write my characters together. This will be a semi-short, very fluffy fanfiction. I am overwhelmingly joyus Mark and Lexie are FINALLY back together. I just wanna spread the love. :) Read and Review! Let me know what you think!

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Whisper Hello, I Miss You Quite Terribly

Lexie Grey disliked very few things. It was in her nature to possess as much crippling optimism as one singular person could possibly hold. Any innate inclination towards distaste of any new situation she experienced was overlooked in order to find the best possible outcome, which eventually, with most things, she could find. However, there were some material items and abstract concepts that she just couldn't bring herself to be okay with.

Clowns were one thing she couldn't find happiness in, they were just creepy and taunting and masked and creepy… and creepy. Guns were another; maybe before Mr. Clark destroyed her safe haven with the mere tug of a trigger Lexie was okay with the idea of the handheld weapon. Or maybe she had disliked them from the start? She couldn't quite remember anymore, all events that preceded the hospital shooting fell into a gentle haze. She could recall feelings and emotions from specific events if she focused all her energy into the act, but it was like her mind shut down those five years ago when the barrel of that gun was placed in front of her face, and she had trouble evoking concrete memories, especially vivid, in-depth ones. The last thing she disliked, the very thing that shook her to her core with terror, was December.

She knew it was weird, she knew it was childish, but she had a very real, very absolute fear of the month of December. Maybe it was because of what it represented, family and communion, both of which she had none. Maybe it was because it reminded her of what she was lacking, reminded her that she was lacking everything. Maybe it was because it brought back to faint memories of leaving Seattle Grace five years ago, leaving her sister, leaving her friends, leaving her life, leaving him. But, if she was being honest with herself, it was probably the compilation of all those factors, and the pain that she was so accustomed to accompanying them.

Five years ago, Lexie Grey decided she needed a fresh start; she needed a place that didn't immortalize her sister and her sister's dead mother. She needed a home that wasn't completely dysfunctional, a role model that wasn't a lost cause and too busy drowning his own sorrows in tequila to see her pain, and a relationship that didn't form and break on the basis of secrecy and sex. Lexie Grey needed stability, for once in her life, Lexie Grey convinced herself she was taking control. She had moved to Chicago and began finishing her residency with a remarkable vigor and passion. She didn't have the dramatics that surrounded Seattle Grace, of which continuously distracted her from advancing her career. She didn't have the fearless sister that every attending wished they had in their OR, the prodigal child to be constantly compared to. She didn't have a previous relationship with an attending hanging over her head, a relationship that ended because she wasn't good enough or open enough or old enough to understand his choices. At Chicago Presbyterian she had a fresh start. She was completely focused on advancing her career, completely capable to tackle any obstacle she came across, and completely and utterly lonely.

In the right mindset, Lexie would have declined her sister's offer to spend Christmas in Seattle. Lexie had spent the last five years making a life of her own, avoiding every possible reminder of her past. During Thanksgiving, as well as Christmas, every year, she worked. Chicago Pres was different than Seattle Grace in that the residents in Chicago had lives outside of the hospital; they had families they wanted to go home to, they had plans for weekends and holidays, leaving vacancy in the hospital for Lexie to fill as much as she possibly could. This Thanksgiving, while on call, Lexie received a call from Meredith at seven at night. Though both ends meant to keep the conversation short, Lexie didn't hang up until she got a page from the hospital at midnight. Meredith told her about Seattle, expertly avoiding subjects that might make Lexie rush a goodbye. And in the warmth and subtle understanding that Lexie felt enveloped with every time she spoke with her sister, Meredith asked Lexie to spend December in Seattle, and Lexie accepted. As far as family was concerned, both Grey's had sparse; Thatcher was living in a rehabilitation center in Florida, Molly moved to Boston for her husband's job. However, the difference between Meredith and Lexie was that Meredith had made and maintained a family with the Seattle Grace staff, while Lexie was simply alone.

As Meredith and Lexie talked, a pang stabbed at Lexie's heart. Suddenly, all she desired was to be in the presence of family, people who knew her, people who understood all that she had been through. She left Seattle to escape, run from all the people who knew every single detail about her personality, her past, her pain. But sitting crossed legged on a bed in the on-call room of Chicago Presbyterian, all Lexie wanted was to be known. She longed to feel as though she wasn't alone.

Lexie talked herself into getting on the plane the evening of December 1st. Though, she had been able to thoroughly convince herself Seattle would be good for her during her phone call with her sister, she found all the reasons she wanted to stay in the safety of Chicago vastly outweighing all of the reasons she should leave. As her plane landed and she walked to pick up her luggage, Lexie was suddenly overcome with the weight of her past. Her hands started to shake and she gripped her the bag that was slung on her shoulder with all her might. Her knuckles turned white as she retrieved her luggage and made her way to a taxi.

Seattle greeted Lexie with a slight snowfall, a white so thin you could still make out the colors of the trees, roads, signs, and everything else it covered. The cab took her to the doors of Seattle Grace, she paid the driver as he emptied her luggage from the trunk. Standing at the doors that led into a vault that held all of the memories she could ever wish to remember, all of the memories she needed to give her hope, to bury her in embarrassment, to instill happiness, to cause her in pain, Lexie wished she had never left the comfort she had created hiding away in Chicago.

Lexie took a deep breath and pulled her pea coat tighter against her shivering body, she contemplated the risks and the benefits of running away at this point. Unfortunately, any hope for escape was squandered as a voice came up behind her, "You going in anytime soon? Or are you going to wait until they have to treat you for hypothermia?"

Lexie turned to be met with a startling pair of blue eyes, she sighed at the realization that running into her past was inevitable and she was just going to have it. "Hey Avery."

The handsome surgeon smiled, taking one of Lexie's two bags, "Hiya little Grey."

Lexie rolled her eyes with a smile at the use of her old nickname, she picked her remaining bag up and followed Avery into the hospital.

"How was your flight?" Avery asked, striking conversation as they waited for the elevator to arrive.

"It was good," Lexie nodded awkwardly, looking around the hospital. "Very little turbulence."

Avery chuckled at her discomfort, "They're not here, you know." Commenting on the brunette's wandering eyes.

Lexie blushed a bit, focusing her gaze on her luggage as they entered the elevator, "Who's not here?" She asked in clarification.

Avery ran a hand over his shaved head, "All of them. I mean, Meredith is upstairs, finishing up some post-ops, but Shepard, Yang, Hunt, Torres, Karev, Bailey, the Chief, Robbins, Altman, Sloan they're all not here, they're gone already."

Lexie released the breath she hadn't known she'd been holding, at the mention of his name, her stomach erupted in pathetic little butterflies, she was ashamed and excited at the reaction the simple allusion to his presence could cause within her. "They're gone already."

The elevator opened and the two residents walked onto the surgical floor, "So how have- um, how have you been?" Lexie asked hesitantly. She didn't mean to be rude, but she also hadn't known him too terribly well before her departure. She knew he had lost friends in the shooting, and she knew she wasn't around for the aftermath of it all to come crashing down upon everyone. She knew he had begun to live in Meredith's house and that him and her sister had become friends, but she didn't know where she stood in the matter. If she was a taboo subject at Seattle Grace, or if she was just that girl who quit after a gun was aimed at her head. And with either of these rules, she had no idea what boundaries she did and did not have.

Avery smiled, his perfect teeth shining in all their glory, "I've been good. I live at Meredith's now, with Karev and April."

Lexie nodded, "I heard. I guess that means I'm back in the attic."

Before their conversation could continue, a voice called Lexie's name. Lexie turned to be greeted with her sister's waddling form headed towards her. Five months pregnant and still expertly maneuvering herself around the surgical floor, Meredith surprised Lexie by enveloping her into an embrace. Though this act of compassion started Lexie a bit, she let herself melt into her sister's presentation of support. It was becoming increasingly obvious that Lexie was where she belonged in this very moment.

"How was your flight?" Meredith asked, leading her and Avery to a nearby nurse's station.

Lexie smiled as Avery answered quickly for her, "Good, very little turbulence."

Meredith raised an eyebrow at Avery's response, but soon distracted herself with a few post-op charts. "Well, Avery can handle the rest of my post-ops if you're ready to go."

Lexie nodded, as Meredith took Lexie's bag from Avery. The sisters made there way out to Meredith's car and Lexie couldn't help but smile at the role reversal. Meredith chatted incessantly, happily in fact, as Lexie struggled coherent, meaningful responses. Meredith talked about Cristina's impending marriage to Owen Hunt, about her and Derek are finally putting the finishing touches on their house and how that project had been postponed yet again for some time, and all before they even reached the beat up jeep.

Lexie threw her bags into the trunk and went to grasp the passenger's side door handle before Meredith stopped her with her voice and a guilty look on her face. "So, I know you're probably going to hate it. I know that. But do you think, you might want to stop by Joe's. Everyone is there, I'm not sure if I was supposed to tell you that. But they're there and they're waiting to see you." Meredith rambled, shoving her hands into her pockets.

Lexie tried to smile, but she couldn't help the tears that welled up in her eyes, she had people waiting to see her, people who cared how she was and where she was and who she was. She had people who cared. She nodded, mumbling something about the cold making her eyes water, and the sisters proceeded to walk across the street to the bar Lexie had associated so many heart wrenching memories with.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for all your feedback! I literally thrive off of it! Feel free to read and review, let me know what you think! The more feedback I get, the quicker I write chapters. :)

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Whisper Hello, I Miss You Quite Terribly

Lexie was in awe of the commotion she caused when she walked through the doors of Joe's bar. Cheers literally erupted as she followed Meredith to the wooden bar and ordered her usual, well used to be her usual, drink; literally, cheers. Joe made his way from behind the bar to give her a hug, so genuine, she, again, let herself fall into the embrace.

"Welcome back," the bulky man stated as he pulled back, still holding her shoulders in place.

Lexie smiled, 'Welcome _back_', she was _back_. "Thanks Joe." She said sincerely.

Joe nodded, with a lopsided grin on his face, "And just so you know," he gestured at the horde of surgeons that were laughing in a corner booth, "their enthusiasm for your return has been multiplied by tequila and shots of patron. You have been warned."

Lexie laughed as Joe handed her a drink and shooed her away. She joined her sister, standing at the side of the booth, as the surgeons around them talked at a higher decibel than necessary. Suddenly, though only moments before they were cheering at her arrival, Lexie felt self-conscious. These used to be _her_ people, but with the gray hairs that graced Bailey's hair, the furrowed wrinkles that lied embedded on the Chief's forehead, the look of maturity that enveloped Karev's features, she felt as though the people she had known before she had left and the people that sat before her were entirely different. "Hey everybody," Lexie said meekly, the shy, scared, little intern that made her way through the halls of Seattle Grace years ago, returning inside of her.

Derek was the first one to stand and envelop her in a hug, whispering, "We missed you, Little Grey." Cristina was next, mumbling something about Lexie needing to show her interns how things are done. Then Karev, then Torres, then Robbins, then Hunt, and soon she had given a hug to all of the surgeons at the table. She tried to remain calm and composed, but her tear ducts betrayed her and a few tears fell as Meredith once again hugged her sister.

"Since when are you a hugger?" Lexie laughed as they pulled away, Lexie wiping fiercely at the remaining tears that lingered on her cheeks.

Meredith gave her a serious expression, "Since I got knocked up." The table laughed and Meredith and Lexie took a seat at the booth.

Lexie tried to control her wandering eyes, scouring the bar for that leather jacket she had so frequently dreamed about in Chicago, but her sister gave her a knowing smile. Lexie blushed, having been caught in the act. However, her embarrassment quickly subsided as a tall, built figure made its way through the doors of Joe's. Their eyes met instantly, as though he knew she'd be looking at that direct point, the exact time he would make his entrance. He gave her that boyish grin, and she smiled in spite of herself.

Before she could contemplate her movements, she was out of the booth, walking into his open arms. His arms wrapped around her whole form, as she unconsciously and instinctively threaded her own arms under his open jacket, feeling the warmth she had so longed for radiate from his body. _She was back._

They stood there for a few moments, unaware and uncaring towards the eyes that watched them so reverently, the whispers that surrounded their embrace, whispers from every table except that of their friends, of whom merely sighed in finality. They stood there unaware and uncaring towards everyone else, because in this very moment, only they, only Mark and Lexie, mattered; only they existed.

She took in the feeling of his hard chest pressed against her soft cheek, closing her eyes tightly, urging her photographic memory to erase everything it had ever before recollected, and just remember this moment.

Finally, they pulled away slightly, Lexie kept her eyes downcast, again embarrassed at her desperation for the man in front of her. Mark gently lifted her chin with his index finger, forcing her to look into his eyes, of which conveyed only admiration and longing, no detection of amusement at her outburst. "I missed you, Lex. I'm glad you're back, home."

Lexie couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face at his words. _She was back, she was home_. She wanted so desperately to reach out and stroke the stubble on his chin, renter his strong arms, collapse into him; she wanted him so desperately. Instead, she turned slightly and led him back to the booth she had sat at mere moments ago. Mark raised a hand, signaling to Joe he'll have his usual drink, before scooting into the plush leather seat beside Lexie. By this time, there were two tables pushed together next to the booth, to house all of the surgeons.

As Joe handed Mark his drink and Cristina ordered a twelve shots, to be split between her, Lexie, Callie, Arizona, and Teddy, Lexie pressed her hands into the seat. Her palms sunk slightly, as she tried to gain control over her emotions. She was sitting a mere inch away from the man she had adored, the man she had never stopped loving. Her anxiety was ridiculous; she tried to reason with herself. Surely, after all this time, he had moved on. And knowing Mark Sloan, he had moved on, and on, and on, and on, and then some. However, as Mark accidently brushed against her arm, she couldn't stop the butterflies that swarmed around her stomach.

Lexie downed the remains of her drink and took the shot glass that Joe had just brought to the table. She paused only for Cristina to make a small, short toast, before pouring the burning liquid in her mouth and down her throat. Two more shots later and Lexie was feeling much better about the butterflies. With her newfound liquid courage, she took part in the conversations that bounced around the table, between multiple parties.

She bravely moved her hand, from its position on the seat by her side, to grasp Mark's under the table. She smiled, staring at Cristina who was speaking directly across from her, as Mark turned slightly to face her. She bit her lip, urging herself not to look in his direction, afraid of what looking into his eyes may do to her. She squeezed his hand lightly and leaned into him slightly as he ran his thumb gently across the back of her hand.

He turned his attention towards Derek as Lexie sighed contently. It was moderately unrealistic for her to come back to Seattle and expect things to be exactly as they were months before she even left. But somehow, she didn't care. Maybe it was the tequila, maybe it was the sensation shooting through up and down her arm at Mark's touch, maybe it was the years of loneliness that accompanied her in Chicago, but she didn't care. As a couple, Mark and her weren't in the same place, emotionally, when she was here, much less five years later. Seattle Grace was immersed in change, and yet here she was, trying to make herself believe everything was the way she had always wanted it to be. It was selfish and immature of her to come back and wish everything into place.

Her thoughts began to damper her buzz, so she had Cristina order another round of shots.

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Lexie stumbled into Meredith's house around 4:00 a.m. Meredith and Derek had left the bar hours before, but she had stayed with Cristina, Alex, Callie, Arizona, Teddy, Owen, and Mark. They drank and laughed and drank some more, Joe had to all but throw them out by the end of the night. And, where as the attendings stopped drinking long ago, Cristina, Alex, and Lexie were double fisting glasses and conversing with volume and enthusiasm.

Mark helped Lexie and Karev home, as Karev unlocked the door and passed out on the couch, lacking the strength to make it all the way to his own room. Lexie, on the other hand, was a ball of energy as she ran through the house, whispering incoherently about the sanctity of the never-changing Grey abode. Mark grasped her bags that lied in the foyer, Derek and Meredith having brought them in hours before, and made his way to the stairs. Lexie followed him, asking questions about this house and Meredith and Derek's new house, how the building was coming along, how Meredith could possibly live in the woods, what if they woke up to a bear on their front step, and many more random, fast-paced questions, without pausing for answers.

They made it to the attic and Lexie instantly became silent. Mark set her luggage down and turned around to make sure she was still there. He misinterpreted her silence and smiled his McSteamy smile at her, "Tired?"

Lexie pursed her lips, forming a small smile, she shook her head lightly, "Not really."

Mark chuckled slightly at her now solemn form, compared to her previous flamboyant actions, "Not feeling the jetlag?" He joked.

Lexie smiled, "Yeah, the two extra hours I got on the way over are probably the only reason I held on with Christina so long."

Mark let out another chuckle before shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. He glanced around the room, letting the memories consume him. "Are you happy to be back?"

Lexie nodded softly, her mood contributing to her impending sobriety "Ecstatic."

Mark turned to face her at her tone, "What's up, little Grey?" He asked concerned, "You know you can talk to me."

Lexie offered a smile that didn't reach her eyes as she lowered herself onto the mattress that lay on the floor, "It's nothing."

Mark sat next to her on the bed, "Nothing is always something with you, Lexie."

Lexie faced Mark, the comfort she felt right now, in this moment, with him, was dangerous. "I just, I knew that I just couldn't come back and everything would be perfect and normal, but then I saw you. It's not right for me to assume that my desired reality is everybody's." Lexie stared at her fingers, as they picked at the comforter. "I shouldn't assume you're still the same guy that wanted me, I shouldn't assume that this could all be looked over, that me and you have a chance."

She could hear Mark breathing softly, as he covered her hands with his own, "You shouldn't assume." She looked up into his eyes, allowing a tear to cascade down her cheek. He didn't want her. He was over her. He wasn't the same. She was right, she was crazy for thinking they stood a chance. It wasn't like she could leave Seattle and have time stand still. She was living in a fairytale, reality wasn't that simple. They didn't work, he knew that, he accepted that. It was done.

"You shouldn't assume," he repeated, taking a sharp breath, "you should know." He then pressed his lips softly against her own.


	3. Chapter 3

I should be studying, but I love you all entirely too much. Screw finals, I need a Mark and Lexie fix. Read and review, please and thank you!

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Whisper Hello, I Miss You Quite Terribly

Lexie awoke the next morning to a bottle a aspirin and a cup of water on the nightstand beside her, a leather jacket that covered her arms and back, and a note that read '_That's my favorite jacket, don't even think of skipping town before you give it back._' Signed only with a little heart at the bottom.

Lexie smiled, before being ominously reminded of her all the tequila she consumed the night, well morning, before. With a pounding head, she took the aspirin with the water and checked the time on the alarm clock. The numbers 12:47 shined in bright red lights. Lexie moaned slightly and forced her body out of bed. She opened one of her suitcases and pulled out various shower supplies along with a purple sweater, a pair of dark-washed jeans, and undergarments. She set the clothes on her bed and made her way down the stairs and down a hallway. She stopped at a closet and grabbed a few towels before heading towards the bathroom.

She quickly stripped down, turned on the shower, and immersed herself in the scorching water. As she ran her fingers through her hair, she closed her eyes and allowed herself so recall the events from the previous night. She could still faintly detect Mark's cologne on her skin, probably in large part due to the fact that she forced him to give her his jacket before she would close her eyes last night. She had asked for the jacket, and as he took it off, he questioned her motives. She responded with a cheeky smile and simply told him that if she had his jacket then she had no choice but to see him again.

Their banter, the night before as they laid on her bed with their legs and hands intertwined and her head on his chest, had reminded her exactly why she had fell for him all those years ago. He was freaking perfect. They hadn't shed many clothes, other than jackets and light sweaters. They hadn't done anything really, besides talking and kissing, a lot of talking and _a lot_ of kissing.

Even now, completely alone, Lexie blushed at the intimacy of their relations, and they didn't even get naked. The ability to connect with a person, on that kind of level, without sex, that was something. That _had _to be _something_. It was like they were content with just _being_. And, God, did she miss just _being_ with Mark. It had been around 10:00 a.m. before Lexie had even allowed herself to succumb to sleep. Earlier in the night, or morning rather, Mark had mentioned something about sleep and having to go into work at 12:00 p.m., but Lexie shrugged it off, pulling his body close to hers and kissing his jawline, quickly shutting him up as he scooped his head down to capture her lips. And, _oh the kissing_.

She could kiss him forever. If she could spend every waking second of everyday just kissing him, she would be deliriously happy. The way his scruff scratched her cheeks, the way his course fingers delicately stroked her cheeks, the way his soft lips melded perfectly into hers, it was all so flawlessly perfect. She smiled every single time his lips lingered over hers, she felt foolish and immature, but she couldn't help it.

Lexie got out of the shower and dried herself off, wiping the mirror with her hand, she stared at herself in the mirror. Sure, she was pretty, but she didn't look nearly as attractive as Mark always made her feel. It was an ever-growing conundrum, why Mark settled for a girl like her. He could have any girl in the world, any woman, why Lexie?

Lexie ran a hand through her wet hair, wrapped her towel around her chilly form, gathered her clothes, and made her way back to her room. She was going to go insane just sitting around, especially when she was only used to work, work, work. She needed to cut, she needed blood, she needed to see a hopeless situation fixed, right now, she needed hope.

After getting dressed and grabbing an apple from the kitchen, Lexie called a cab and headed toward Seattle Grace. Upon arrival, and paying the driver, she again stood outside the doors stoically. Snow covered the grass and gravel that surrounded the hospital. And though it was no longer falling from the sky, like the night before, Lexie felt as though she was in a dream, like she was living a life that wasn't her own. She took a deep breath of the crisp, fresh air; it was all too perfect to be _her_ life.

Lexie wrapped her arms around herself, though she was tempted to wear Mark's jacket to Seattle Grace, she knew if anything stayed the same, the gossip mill would be as alive as ever. And while it may have given her a laugh or two, she didn't want anyone analyzing their relationship before she got a chance to talk it out with Mark. So instead, Lexie opted for a dark green pea coat that made her brown eyes pop.

Finally, having accumulated enough courage and frostbite to force herself to walk into the now bustling hospital, Lexie made her way to the surgical floor. She shivered as she passed old scrub nurses and faces she had never before seen. Some said hello, some welcomed her back, some offered her a smile, but most just walked right past her. It was odd, because at one time, actually at many times, she couldn't walk anywhere without whispers following her. Rumors about her being the estranged Grey, rumors about her relationship with the promiscuous attending, rumors about her break-up with said attending, whispers about her and the gun that was aimed directly at her forehead. It was odd, but refreshing. Some knew her here, but more were just as oblivious as her coworkers in Chicago.

First, she headed towards the Chief's office, speaking with him briefly about assisting in the OR. He quickly and enthusiastically granted her allowance into any OR and any case she desired, mentioning something about showing up Chicago Presbyterian and winning her back. She then made her way towards the resident's locker room, quickly changing into the light blue scrubs she had so desperately missed, having never been a fan of the salmon colored scrubs she was forced to wear at Chicago Pres. Finally, she headed to the OR board to gain an understanding on her friends' current positions.

"Lexie?" A feminine voice cracked, "What are you doing here? In scrubs? By the board?"

Lexie smiled without facing her sister, "The Chief granted me temporary residency while I'm here, so I don't have to sit on my ass, car-less, in your empty house." Lexie turned with a bounce, making Meredith jump in surprise, "He says he wants to win me back." She said excitedly.

"Who wants to win you back?" Meredith asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lexie huffed, turning her attention back to the board, "The Chief, did you not hear what I just said? He said that I could stay as long as I want, request any specialty I want, and edge my way into any surgery I want. He says he hopes that I'll remember why I chose this program to begin with. He said he hasn't seen potential like mine in an intern since I left."

Meredith chuckled, "So he stroked your ego and now you're in love with him?"

Lexie nodded, "Pretty much, yeah. I love being reminded how awesome I am."

Cristina appeared beside the sisters, rubbing her temples while taking in the board, "What's going on?"

"The Chief gave Lexie full reign of the kingdom, any specialty, any surgery, anytime she wants." Meredith explained with a playful roll of her eyes.

"What? Why?" Cristina asked, looking from the board to Lexie's eyes back to the board, trying to guess which operation she seemed to find most interesting.

"Because I'm awesome," Lexie said simply.

Meredith smiled at her sister, "You're not that awesome, he's just trying to make you come back."

Lexie tapped her chin with her index finger, "Shepard's repairing an aneurism and removing a tumor in OR two, I think I may go Neuro today."

Meredith let her jaw fall open, "That's my surgery!"

Cristina stuck her tongue out at Meredith, "Ha ha, that's what you get. Besides, you totally stole my cardiac repair last week, serves you right." Cristina said, exasperatedly.

"Oh, Altman's got a heart transplant, that sounds super fun," Lexie said, narrowing her gaze at the squares that held the operation's information.

"Oh, no, no, no! That is so mine! I know everything about that patient! You're not taking that case away from me." Cristina said confidently.

Lexie turned to her with a slightly defiant look in her eye, "Two words, Yang. Photographic memory, do you really think it would take me longer than two minutes to find out everything I need to know?"

Cristina's eyes widened in horror, before slightly relaxing in approval, "You're ruthless and cruel, little Grey. I've taught you well."

Meredith watched their exchange, mouth still ajar, "Seriously?"

Lexie smiled before turning her attention back to the board, "Seriously."

Meredith shook her head, "Keep your hands off my aneurism, or you won't have a place to sleep for the next month."

Cristina still stared at the dark brunette before her, "I'm not sure if I'm more angry or in awe. I'm so proud."

"What is everyone talking about?" Alex asked, walking to a nurses' station, finishing a chart, a few feet away.

"Lexie's on a power trip," Meredith sighed, turning on her heel and positioning herself beside the male resident.

"Little Grey's back in the big city and thinks she's hot shit, huh?" Alex chuckled, finishing his notes and closing the binder.

Lexie skipped over to the counter, placing her elbow on the cold, white countertop, "Excuse me—" She stated before being interrupted.

Meredith rolled her eyes, "Apparently, she is hot shit. According to the Chief at least."

Lexie smiled, "Thank you."

"Any specialty, any surgery, anytime." Cristina repeated Meredith's earlier words, at her position by the board.

"No way," Alex said, shaking his head in disbelief. "What are you into these days, anyways little Grey? Neuro? Cardio? Ortho? Plastics?"

Lexie smiled mischievously, "PEDs, actually."

Alex's mouth dropped, and Meredith nodded, "I'm telling you, total power trip," the pregnant woman sighed.

As the residents talked, the head of plastics made his way over to the conversation. Clad in navy blue scrubs, Lexie smiled at his presence. Meredith, Cristina, and Alex dispersed, each mumbling something about having some place to be, with Alex making a small comment about her inevitably choosing plastics.

"I am so choosing PEDs today," Lexie said, watching Alex's retreating form, before turning her attention to the attending in front of her. "Hello," she said, still high on the occurrences of the day so far.

"Hey," Mark said with a smile that spread across his whole face.

Lexie furrowed her brow and her face soon adorned a frown, "Don't look at me like that?"

Mark chuckled aloud, "Look at you like what?"

Lexie raised a finger and waved it up and down his form, "Like that, don't look at me like _that_."

Mark smirked, "Why not?"

Lexie rolled her eyes, "Because you know what happens when you look at me like that." Lexie, again, walked towards the OR board.

Mark followed her, stopping behind her, close enough to brush his fingers against hers, "I like what happens when I look at you like that."

Lexie smiled in spite of herself, but refused to turn to meet his gaze, "We need to talk, eventually, you know."

Mark lightly ran his fingers up and down her arm, causing her to shiver slightly, "I know."

"So?" Lexie asked, still staring at the board, of which she had already memorized long ago.

"So, come to my place. Tonight, I'll make dinner, we'll talk." Mark smiled, and he brushed his fingers across hers, and she reached out slightly to interlock her fingers with his.

"Promise we'll _talk_," she asked, emphasizing the work 'talk'.

Mark squeezed her hand lightly before letting it fall back to her side, "Promise, and don't forget my jacket."


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry for the wait! While on break I was working so I didn't have much free time. To all the reviewers who wrote and favorited and alerted this story, thank you so much! Here's another chapter, and another is soon to follow! Tell me what you think!

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Whisper Hello, I Miss You Quite Terribly

"I wanna help," Lexie whined, crossing her arms over her chest, sitting a top of a counter in Mark's kitchen.

Mark chuckled, "No."

"But why not?" Lexie stressed all of the syllables, making her voice and mannerisms resemble that of a two year old.

Mark stirred a pot that simmered over his stove, before setting down the spoon and walking over to where Lexie sat. "Because," he said, placing his hands on Lexie's jean-clad thighs as she opened her knees a bit so he could be as close to her as possible, "I would like to end up with an edible meal by the end of this endeavor."

Lexie sighed, placing her arms around his shoulders and tightening her legs around him, "But I wanna help."

Mark snaked his arms around her waist and sighed in content the moment her lips caught his. He smirked as she let her teeth scrape the skin on his bottom lip.

"You're not going to coerce me, little Grey." Mark stated, never letting his mouth part from hers.

Lexie tore her lips away from his, only to begin pressing little kisses along his jawline, "But coercion is fun."

Mark closed his eyes and allowed the feel of Lexie take over his senses, "Not burning dinner is also fun." He stated absentmindedly, groaning slightly as she nipped and sucked at the base of his throat.

She pulled away slightly, so her eyes were staring challengingly into his, "More fun then coercion?"

Mark chuckled slightly moving to his right slightly to turn off the stove, before taking possession of her lips once more, "Nothing is more fun than coercion."

After work, Mark and Lexie drove together to his apartment. While in the car, Mark laced his fingers with hers. Lexie felt like a schoolgirl as she failed miserably at hiding the smile that spread across her lips. He had a hold over her, a dangerous, electrifying, terrible, wonderful hold. He could break her with a single touch, seduce her with a single word, destroy her composure with one look. Lexie felt a constant adrenaline rush whenever she was with him, even when she simply thought about him.

Weren't these feelings supposed to subside during the years she had been away? Instead, they only seemed to intensify. It was like a constant magnetic pull whenever she was near him. She had to be close to him, touch him, make sure he was truly there. He could push her away without a single explanation, if he wanted. That's what she did to him. Maybe that was her greatest fear, that he would just up and decide to do to her what she did to him.

These worries, and others, floated around Lexie's ever-churning mind, constantly, without pause, ever-growing. As she sat on the counter, immersed in his love, physically and emotionally, she began to think of the possibilities. What the man before her could do, deserved to do to get back at her. She slowed her movements, halting her wandering hands and her insatiable lips, and placed her forehead against his.

She looked into his blue orbs and tried to offer him a smile. Mark reached his hand up to lightly stroke her cheek, before placing his palm lightly against her porcelain face. "What's on your mind, Lex?" Mark whispered soothingly.

Lexie attempted to give a small chuckle, he already knew what was on her mind, he always knew; however, it came out more as a hiccup, "Everything."

"You want to talk now?" Mark asked, pulling away slightly, helping Lexie jump off the counter.

She smiled meekly, feeling slightly over-bearing for wanting to know what this, between them, really was. He took her hand, seemingly knowing what she was feeling, and squeezed it in reassurance, before leading her over to the couch. He gestured for her to sit on one end of the couch while he sat on the other.

Lexie laughed aloud before crawling over to where he was. "Whoah, little Grey." Mark stated with his hands up, "I'm trying to create some boundaries here."

Lexie smiled, swinging her legs over his lap and leaning her body into his shoulder, "I don't want boundaries," she stated simply, "not with you."

Mark wrapped his arm around her shoulders and intertwined his free hand with one of hers. He leaned in slightly and pressed a chaste kiss on her lips, "For the record," he said pulling away, "I don't want boundaries with you either."

Lexie resisted the strong urge to kiss him again, knowing doing so would negate the whole 'talking' thing. Instead, she just stared at him, just looked at his face. Though the years had certainly left their imprint on Mark's features, a few more wrinkles, a few more grey hairs in his stubble, besides the slight indication of age, there were no other signs that time had passed. How could time stand still, after five years, how could nothing have changed?

"So," Lexie started, nervously playing with their intertwined hands, "what is this?"

Mark chuckled, "That was smooth."

Lexie laughed, glad to have him ease some of the tension, "Shut up, I'm serious. There's no other way to phrase that."

Mark took a long pause before answering, "Well, what do you want this to be?"

Lexie bit her lip and pressed her head into his chest, her voice was barely above a whisper when she spoke, "I leave in a month."

Mark stroked her hair soothingly, "So I've got a month to convince you to stay."

Lexie pulled her head away from his body to look him in the eye, "It's not that easy."

Mark smiled down at her, "Why can't it be?"

Lexie stared into eyes, searching for just a twinge of doubt or hesitation, but there was none. Lexie wanted to smile at his confidence, but reason haunted the back of her mind. "Because it can't be," Lexie stated, shaking her head slightly," not logically. I have a month here and I have a whole life in Chicago."

"You have a whole life in Seattle, too." Mark countered.

"It's not the same, here and in Chicago. Things are different, I'm different, we're different." Lexie sighed, placing her head once again against his chest.

Mark maintained his smile, never letting it waver, "You're not the same girl that left, but Chicago didn't change you. You changed before Chicago was even an option. You used to have this, this flamboyant light in your eyes, impossible to miss. You used to have this radiating optimism about everything; it was annoyingly contagious. You used to have a hunger for life." He spoke softly, almost like it hurt him to say the words. He paused for a moment, closing his eyes and pressing his lips to the top of her head.

When he spoke again, his voice was still soft, but his confidence permeated through his words, "It's still there. All of it; the light, the optimism, the hunger, but it's clouded by fear. And I hate that you were alone for that long, I hate that you were alone at all, that I left you alone. But this is my chance to help you get it all back, to help reignite that faith in hope and light and life and love. Just give me a month, that's all I need Lex, just a month."

Lexie felt tears begin to well up in her eyes, "Mark-" She felt him lift his head up, so she did the same, and stared once again into his blue orbs, "I don't know what to say."

Mark pressed his forehead against hers, "Just say yes, little Grey."

Lexie pursed her lips, "What happens at the end of the month? What happens if I still decide to go back to Chicago? What if we don't last? If we've just changed too much? What if-"

Mark interrupted her questions with his own, "What if it does work? What if we do defy all odds? What if you decide to stay? What if we haven't changed at all?"

"Mark, I'm just trying to think this all through, you're giving me a lot to process." Lexie exclaimed, raising her hands slightly, untangling their previously interlaced hands.

Mark shook his head, grabbing her hand once again, "Don't think, stop trying to make everything make sense, we've never had to make sense before, we don't have to make sense now."

Lexie bit her lip as Mark smiled down at her, "We don't have to make sense, Lexie." Mark repeated.

"One month?" She asked softly, a slight smile pulling at her lips.

"That's all we need." Mark stated confidently.

"So that means that we-" Lexie began.

"Don't make sense." Mark smiled.

"As long as we don't make sense, together." Lexie smiled cheekily.

Mark laughed at her double meaning, "Always."

"And also, you have to let me help with the cooking."


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry about the length of these past chapters, they won't be this short for much longer, promise! Also, who LOVELOVELOVED the Mark and Lexie scenes we got Thursday? I can't wait until this week's! P.S.- You guys are freaking awesome, thanks so much for all the reviews, alerts, and favorites! You literally rock. Like hardcore. Seriously, seriously.

* * *

Whisper Hello, I Miss You Quite Terribly

"Stop."

"I'm not doing anything."

"I'm serious."

"So am I."

Lexie sighed with her eyes closed, her left arm tucked under her head. A few seconds later she spoke again, "I'm serious, Mark. Cut it out."

Mark chuckled lightly, "I honestly have no idea what you're talking about."

In the dark of an on-call room, Lexie and Mark laid tangled up in each other. Scrubs still in-tact, Lexie hoped she might be able to catch some sleep before her next surgery in a few hours. Originally, Lexie had paged Mark just in case he had a free moment to spare. Though they were 'together' as of last night, Lexie still liked that assurance, the actual feel of his touch, the knowledge that his presence lingered in the same room as her, it just made her feel _better_. However, Lexie was quickly learning that Mark didn't understand her thought process.

"Mark!" Lexie opened her eyes and glared at her boyfriend's childish smile.

"What?" He asked, wrapping a strong arm across her waist.

Lexie momentarily contemplated wriggling out of his grasp, but she knew he wouldn't let her go, and on top of that, she was sure she didn't want him to. "You know what." Lexie stated, choosing to snuggle into his chest.

"Okay," Mark laughed, drawing small circles on her back. They laid there silently, Lexie breathing softly on his scrubs, before she spoke again.

"You're still doing it," Lexie huffed, hiding her face deeper into his chest.

"Well," Mark started, stressing the word, "maybe if you told me what I was doing, I could work on it, and maybe you'd be less annoyed."

Lexie opened her eyes and slightly pushed herself away, still making sure they were close, "You just," she paused for a moment," you keep looking at me."

Mark couldn't stop the laughter that escaped his lips, "I keep looking at you?"

Lexie swatted his chest with a smile, "I'm serious!"

Mark caught her hand in his and pressed his lips against her knuckles, "That's what makes it so funny."

"I can't sleep when you just keep staring at me, it's unnerving." Lexie laughed slightly at the way the words sounded coming out of her mouth.

"Your eyes are closed, little Grey. How do you even know I'm staring at you?" Mark asked with a raised eyebrow.

Lexie bit her lip, unwilling to sound like a complete idiot, she closed her eyes and whispered her explanation, "It's like this, I don't know, this warmth, that, I don't know."

"Tell me," Mark said softly, contorting his demand to sound like a question.

Lexie opened her eyes and tilted her head, so their gazes met directly. "I don't know how to explain it. I just, I just feel warm. And my stomach does these flips, and I can't think. It's like a reflex, I can't control it." Lexie smiled at her silliness, "It's dumb."

His voice was husky as he spoke, "It's not dumb." Lexie swore she saw his eyes darken slightly before he dipped his head and pressed his lips hard against hers. His arms tightened around her waist as her small hands made her way to his cheeks, the stubble tickling her palms.

Lexie pulled herself up, pressing her body tight against his. She smiled against his lips as he ran his hands under her scrubs, his coarse skin leaving goose bumps on her back.

Lexie removed her hands from his face and let them fall to the hem of his scrub top, tugging it gently up Mark's torso. Their lips parted briefly as she pulled the shirt above his head and discarded it on the floor. Mark rolled slightly atop of her, holding himself up on his elbow, as one hand caressed her cheek. He pressed kisses on the skin of her neck, smirking as Lexie ran her hands through his hair, pulling and tugging slightly.

Mark pulled away, letting his head hover above hers for a while, just staring into her eyes.

Lexie smiled cheekily, "You're doing it again."

Mark's expression was softened from its previous lust, now his eyes permeated something Lexie wasn't sure, something deeper.

Silence past in what seemed like hours before Mark spoke. "I love you," he said tenderly and yet, with an unwavering confidence

Lexie's smiled faltered a bit, surprised by his words, and more over, surprised by her own surprise. She reached her hand up to touch his face, letting her finger trace his jawline, contemplating his words.

Suddenly, all that could be heard was the sound of their pagers, simultaneously going off. Lexie reached over to the side table and looked at the message, "My surgery has been pushed up," she said, passing Mark, who still remained shirtless and on one elbow, in the same position he had been in, his ringing pager.

"I've got a burn victim coming in," he said, keeping Lexie under him with his body pressing against hers. He tossed the pager onto the side table and dipped his head to capture her lips once more. Lexie kissed him hard, before slightly pushing him off.

She pressed her mouth against his once more before walking towards the door, straightening her scrubs, "See you tonight?"

Mark smiled melodiously at her, making her swoon slightly, "Of course."

Lexie walked out the door, her mind churning at a rapid pace. She wasn't sure why, but she was still mentally riving in all different directions. Hope, fear, elation, terror. She ran her fingers through her hair and piled her brown locks atop of her head before tying it with a black hair band.

"So Christmas," a voice spoke, appearing beside Lexie as she walked towards OR1.

Lexie smiled, "Is a wonderful time of the year?"

Meredith waved her hand, "Yeah, yeah, all that holly jolly crap."

Lexie laughed, and having arrived at the elevators, pressed the down button, "What happened to bright and shiny Mer?"

Meredith made a disgusted face, "I have four more months to perfect bright and shiny, and right now I'm okay with dark and gloomy. But Christmas, you're staying until then, right? Nothing or no one has scared you off, right?"

Lexie raised an eyebrow, entering the elevator with her sister, "I'm staying until the new year, that's what we agreed upon, right? Do I still have a place to sleep until then?"

Meredith's features changed quickly from questionable to apologetic, "No, no of course you do. That's not what I meant at all. I wanted to make _sure_ that you were staying. There's nothing stronger than the Grey notion to talk yourself out of something. God, of course you can stay."

Lexie laughed, as the exited onto the floor with the operating rooms, "Then, yes Mer, I'm staying."

Meredith smiled, "So, next question, am I setting another place at Christmas dinner, then? You, plus one?"

Lexie rolled her eyes, before turning to her sister, "First of all, don't even think for a second you can fool me. Derek will be setting the table, and doing most, if not all of the cooking. Or his family will. And, me plus one? You knew before I even came that Mark would be coming to Christmas dinner, along with the whole Shepard clan. But since this is your way of asking if we are together, then yes. Me, plus one."

Meredith jumped slightly, "Yay," she stated simply, with enthusiasm.

Lexie sighed, gently grabbing her sister's hands, "I miss dark and gloomy Meredith."

Meredith swatted Lexie's arm jokingly, "But seriously, we need to do something."

Lexie looked at her sister curiously, "Do something?"

Meredith shrugged, "I don't know, what do normal people do? Like couples night or something." She grimaced at her own suggestion, "Ew."

Lexie laughed, "Yeah, ew."

Meredith sighed, "Well, we don't have to call it that. But you know what I mean."

Lexie thought for a second, "Well, I used to have like these, um, like movie nights."

"Movie nights?" Meredith asked incredulously.

"Yeah, in high school." Lexie explained, "With all my friends and our boyfriends. We'd just order pizza and watch movies."

Meredith narrowed her eyes and nodded, "Sometimes I forget you used to be vomit-inducingly bright and shiny."

Lexie placed her hand on the slightly shorter woman's shoulder, "Sweetie, you're pregnant, everything to you is vomit-inducing. But if it makes you feel better, it also usually consisted of smuggling in some alcohol without our parents knowing, but we can get that legally now, so..."

Meredith smiled, "Bright and shiny with the Grey love of tequila. Okay, tonight, you, Mark, me, Derek, Cristina, Owen, movie night."

Lexie shook her head with a slight grin at the idea, as she entered the scrub room, "I'm not sure how all the other parties involved will feel about that."

"Oh!" Meredith said, placing her hand on her stomach, focusing her attention on the inside of the operating room through the glass window, "We could invite Torres and Robbins, they're all peppy and happy, bright and shiny people. I should hang out with them more."

Lexie shook her head, turning on the sink and scrubbing her hands and arms throughly, "You're not hearing a word I'm saying are you?"

"Derek will be in, Owen will be in, together, we can all convince Cristina. You convince Mark, Mark convince Callie, Robbins will probably be in without any convincing. See, no problem." Merdith smiled brightly.

Lexie narrowed her eyes at her sister, "Why do I get the feeling this isn't the first time you've thought about something like this?"

"Should I get chips and stuff?" Meredith asked, ignoring Lexie's sarcastic remarks, as she stood in the doorway. "Maybe ice cream? Pickles?"

Lexie held her hands up, and pressed the button to enter the OR with her elbow, "Please, Mer, don't subject us to your pregnant cravings. Beer, chips, dip, pizza, movies, the end."

Meredith smiled as Lexie retreated into the OR, "See you tonight! You better not chicken out!"


	6. Chapter 6

So, I realized my writing style kind of dwindles from time to time, sorry if I lose some of you along the way. Also, I know 'The A-team' wasn't out then, but it is now, so there. I love all of you! Thank you so much for all the reviews and support! You're awesome! And only two days until Thursday! Who's excited!

* * *

Whisper Hello, I Miss You Quite Terribly

"No, no, no, no, no, we're not watching a dumb chick flick."

"It's not a dumb chick flick, 'The Notebook' is a classic!"

"I agree!"

"Thank you!"

"No, not with you," Lexie swatted Mark's arm, "With Cristina, 'The Notebook' is a sappy movie that sad, lonely women watch at night and eat loads of ice cream and cry themselves to sleep."

"Wow, little Grey, have some experience with that, do we?" Derek asked, sitting in front of the television as everyone argued on what movie to watch. Cristina and Owen were snuggled on one of the two couches, with Cristina fidgeting against Owen as she adamantly defended her movie choice. Callie and Arizona sat crossed legged the floor, their backs against the couch and a pizza box at their feet. Meredith occupied the second couch, stretching her legs down the length of it, but she kept the cushion next to her open for Derek, once he was done choosing a movie and setting it up. Lexie and Mark took the love seat; taking the same position they had the night before. Lexie's legs were strewn across Mark's lap and tucked between his own, of which were propped up on a footrest.

"Don't turn this around, 'The A-Team' is over twenty times better than 'The Notebook', that's just how it is. You're just mad that she doesn't want to watch your dumb movie," Cristina defended the younger Grey.

"It's not a dumb movie, it's a profound love story," Owen explained, edging his opinion into their argument, resulting in Cristina staring at him dumbfounded.

"Blah, blah, blah," Cristina stated sarcastically, making her mouth open and close dramatically with the beginning and ending of each word.

"I'm with Little Grey and Yang," Robbins piped in, "'The Notebook' should only be brought out under extreme circumstance."

Cristina muttered a triumphant "Yeah!" before high-fiving the blonde attending.

"I still don't understand why we're disregarding 'Elf' so fast," Meredith whined.

"Yeah, I'm with Grey. It's the holidays, why can't we watch a holiday movie?" Callie agreed, passing Arizona a piece of pizza from the box beside her.

"We'll have plenty of time to watch that, like Christmas Eve or Christmas," Lexie explained logically. "Join our team!"

"Yeah," Cristina insisted, "join our team!"

"And, what team is that?" Mark asked, narrowing his gaze challengingly at Lexie.

Lexie raised an eyebrow in sass, "The A-team." She stated simply.

"If we can't watch 'Elf', I pick 'The A-team'," Meredith huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I don't know," Callie mulled the two movies over in her head, "I think I want to watch 'The Notebook'."

"What? Why?" Cristina asked condescendingly.

Callie shrugged, "It's a classic, I don't know. I just want to watch it."

Lexie shook her head in mock disappointment, Cristina shouted, "Boo", and Arizona looked at Callie lovingly before saying, "You disappoint me," jokingly.

"So what is that? Four versus four?" Derek asked from his place beside the television, "So 'The Notebook' it is," he stated, grabbing the DVD box from the ground before pausing at Cristina's objections.

"No, no, no, brains before beauty, Shepard!" The curly haired resident shouted.

Amongst the argument, of which, all surgeons were now shouting their opinions, Lexie lifted her head, positioning herself to speak so that only Mark could hear her.

"I think you should change your vote," Lexie whispered softly.

Mark shook his head slightly with a smirk, "And why is that?"

"Action movies kind of turn me on," Lexie whispered seductively into Mark's ear, slightly rubbing her jean-covered legs against his. She laughed as he placed a firm hand on her thigh to still her movements.

"I change my vote to 'The A-Team'," Mark said hoarsely. Lexie smiled in triumph, and pressed a kiss against the base of his throat.

"Victory is ours!" Cristina cheered, high-fiving Arizona and Meredith, "Nice job little Grey."

The men and Callie shook their heads at Mark, as Derek grimaced and put in 'The A-team' in the DVD player.

Lexie smiled up at Mark as he kissed her forehead, "Totally worth it," he mumbled and she giggled.

As the movie started, Derek found his place next to his wife and Cristina slowly but surely made her way down from the emotional high of the argument. Lexie snuggled into Mark's chest and laced her fingers with his. Taking in the atmosphere of the room; everything felt as though it was in its rightful place, it all felt, it all felt _right_.

Lexie glanced briefly around the room, at the couples holding each other, at the man whose arms were wrapped around her and she was suddenly overcome with the emotions brought about by the people that surrounded her. She was here, and she was wanted, and she was safe, and she was _loved_.

After her mom died, years ago, and Thatcher fell into his downward spiral, and her sister moved, and Meredith ignored her existence, Lexie thought she would be broken forever, just a fragment of her former self. But somehow, someway, Mark had saved her; he fought through her optimistic exterior, the façade she had put on for everyone else, he had seen the real her, and he had loved her anyway. After Mark chose Sloane, Lexie had thought that she would never find a place in his heart, in anyone's heart, never find anything like the place she had kept for him. But again, he fought his way back in little by little, only to be interrupted and have all his progress tainted by the shooting.

After the shooting, she had thought she had lost this completely. This feeling, this foundation, this family, she had thought that it had died that day, that she had died that day. Tears welled up in her eyes as she came to the realization that she had never lost any of it, she wasn't losing any of it. She was running from it, from the consistency of all of it.

When she left for Chicago, Lexie thought she was doing what was best for her, for everyone. She had thought that her world, their world, had been torn up so completely, that there was no hope of piecing it all back together. She had thought that she no longer had a life in Washington, at Seattle Grace, with these people, but none of that was true. Nothing was gone, nothing had changed, she still had the same things she had always had; nothing was different. It was all in her mind.

She wasn't forging a new life for herself in Chicago, she was running. From feelings, from foundation, from family, she was running from the consistency of it all. She was running so she wouldn't have to see it all rip apart. These things, all the crap that they had all been through, it should of broke them, torn them apart from the seams, but it didn't and that was perhaps the scariest part of it all. What else was coming? What would make their final ending? She was just sick of waiting for the other shoe to drop, so she ran.

"Hey, can you come into the kitchen with me?" She whispered softly into Mark's ear as she gently got off his lap.

Mark's concerned expression made her aware of the tears that silently cascaded down her cheeks, "Of course."

She wiped her eyes softly and offered a smile as she helped him up. They strategically made their way around the living room, doing their best to not contract any attention. The second they found themselves in the kitchen, Mark wrapped his arms around Lexie's small frame, holding her tight. Lexie smiled softly into his chest, before pulling away and wiping the salty water that remained on her face.

"What's going through your mind, little Grey?" The attending smiled down at her sympathetically.

"How can you be so sure? Of this? Of us? After all this time?" Lexie asked, pressing her back into a countertop, trying to create some space between her and Mark.

"I'm not quite sure what you mean," Mark spoke, closing the distance she had created in a simple step.

"You told me you loved me," Lexie stated simply.

"No, I said I love you," Mark corrected, making sure she knew he was speaking in present tense, for present situations.

"You said you love me, but I've only been back for a few days. You're so sure that we're going to make it and everything is going to be okay, how? How do you have this confidence that you, that you still love me?" Lexie asked desperately, trying to keep her voice low.

Mark once again wrapped his arms around her, trying to make her feel the immensity of his love. He kissed the skin on her neck and then let his face rest there, nuzzled in the crook of her neck. "I never stopped loving you, Lexie."

Once again, tears welled up in her eyes, she wanted to push him away, tell him she didn't want him or need him anymore. She wanted to be burned by the words, but she placed one hand on his shoulder and one on the back of his head that rested against her skin and hoped to God, as much as he loved the person she was, that he could love the person she had become. "Please don't say that," she whispered, running her fingers softly over his scalp.

He raised his head to look her in the eye, but he didn't pull away from her. His arms remained securely wrapped around her waist, and she pressed her body lightly into his, urging him not to let go. "Why not? It's the truth."

She stared directly into his eyes, the ease of this conversation, the way their bodies melded together, the ease of being with him made her feel as though she never left. "I have to go back, eventually." She whispered, searching his eyes for something, anything that gave her some sort of power. Something that would give her an out, if she needed a reason to tell him no. But, all she found was love.

He smiled, that infamous Sloan smile, and again she was reminded how incredibly lucky she was to have the reckless and rebellious McSteamy, who never settled for anything less than everything, anyone less than everyone, want her. "No, you don't."

That was the moment she knew, she could survive anything if a man like this, a man like him could love her. If Mark Sloan thought she was worth a damn as a woman, as a surgeon, as a person, that _meant_ something. If Mark Sloan was willing to sort through her crap, atop of the monstrous pile of his own, that _meant_ something. If Mark Sloan wanted her, needed her, loved her, _she meant_ something. Something she could never mean in Chicago, or in any other place than Seattle, any other place besides in his arms.

Lexie laughed nervously, her mind was racing. She wanted him, she didn't want to want him, she needed him, she didn't want to need him; she was so contradictory. She couldn't even sort herself out in her own mind, how could he stand to try to sort her out in his?

"I'm sorry I'm such a mess," Lexie sighed, shaking her head.

"You're not a mess," Mark smiled, "You're perfect."

Tears softly fell from her eyes as he pressed his lips against hers.


	7. Chapter 7

-_-  
That's all I got to say about this week's episode. We need some fluff, so this chapter is basically just that. Does anyone know of any really awesome Mark/Lexie stories I could read? Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favorites, as usual, you guys are freaking rockstars.

* * *

Whisper Hello, I Miss You Quite Terribly

Lexie slowly preformed a running whip stitch on a thirty year old woman's heart, as the eyes of the Chief as well as the majority of the attendings, including neuro, cardio, ortho, and plastics, looked on with interest, intrigue, and admiration. Not many surgical residents got the opportunity to preform a solo surgery within their first couple of years of residency, but today Lexie Grey got to preform a solo cardiac repair within her first couple of days back.

Earlier that day, a helicopter crash on the highway caused a huge wave of trauma causalities to roll into Seattle Grace. Though, for a while, it was all hands on deck, Altman had demanded that Lexie stay on the surgical floor and pay particular attention to one of her post ops. In the midst of the chaos, Lexie had to open her patient's chest while she lied on her hospital bed.

Having rushed her patient to surgery, Lexie had begun, and was now in the process of finishing, a repair to her patient's aortic wall, of which had collapsed under the intensity of her surgery previously that day.

Lexie took a deep breath as she backed away from the body and waited for the heart to turn pink and begin beating. The air in the OR was gone, as was the air in the gallery above the operating room. No one said a word as they waited for the final result to play out.

She felt surreal, she felt powerful, and God, she felt _good_. Chicago, in all of its five years, had never given her this feeling. She felt complete, and competent, and capable. As she waited for her hard work to pay off, Lexie had never felt so sure. After last night, Mark's supportive and encouraging words, her friends' playful banter, the comfort and safety that surrounded the night, that permeated from Seattle, Lexie had never felt so invigorated, so full of life.

Lexie poked the heart once and heaved a sigh of relief as the heart began to fill with color and started to beat rhythmically. The doctors and nurses in both the operating room as well as in the gallery began to clap and nod approvingly. Lexie's eyes wandered to the window looking out from the gallery, the second she met those blue orbs her eyes widened and she opened her mouth to convey her excitement. Mark grinned and shook his head, attempting to enthuse his awe. He clapped his hands along with the other admirers. Lexie bowed a little before looking around the OR and thanking her nurses and the other various doctors.

After changing and finishing up her post-ops, Lexie headed to Joe's. Still reeling from her surgery high, Lexie smiled as she heard cheers erupting from the same booth she sat at just a few nights before.

"Lexipedia!" Alex yelled across the room, getting Lexie's attention from her place in the doorway.

Alex, Meredith, April, Jackson, and Cristina sat around the table as Lexie walked over and set her stuff down on the booth. Jackson reached across the table and high-fived Lexie, "You're a rock star."

"That was so amazing," April gushed from her place next to Jackson.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, little Grey knows crap. Some of us don't need a degenerate, abnormal mind to get ahead." Cristina rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Jealousy is an ugly, ugly quality, Yang." Alex smirked, before taking a drink of his beer.

Cristina scrunched up her face and gave him a death glare, "I'm not jealous, I've done plenty of cardiac repairs."

"Maybe, but you certainly haven't repaired a collapsed aortic wall completely solo," Meredith shrugged, mocking her best friend.

Cristina picked up a peanut from the bowl on the table and threw it at Meredith. The table laughed as Meredith caught it in her hand, cracked it open, and popped it into her mouth.

"Have you guys seen Mark?" Lexie asked, still standing by the edge of the table.

"He's at the bar with Derek and Owen," Meredith smiled at her sister with a hint of knowing behind her eyes.

Lexie muttered a quick, "Thanks," before walking over to where two men stood at the bar.

"Hey guys," Lexie smiled, leaning against the wooden bar.

"Nice work today little Grey," Derek said respectfully,

"Thank you," Lexie waved at Joe, who nodded in return and began to orchestrate Lexie's drink.

"I know Teddy and the Chief were very impressed," Owen commented, tapping his fingers against the wooden counter top.

"Yeah, I'd sleep with one eye open tonight, Yang isn't going to let that slide so easily," Derek laughed.

"I've been trying to tell you this," A deep husky voice came beside Lexie, snaking a arm around her waist, "she's amazing." Lexie smiled up at her boyfriend as he grinned down at her in pride.

"Yeah, yeah, you're all mushy, mushy now, we get it," Derek jokingly rolled his eyes.

"Hi," Mark said, ignoring Derek's comment, still staring into Lexie's eyes.

"Hi," Lexie blushed, letting her smile spread even further across her face. Mark lowered his head and pressed his lips firmly against hers.

"Bye," Derek said, grabbing a few beer bottles Joe had brought out for the table.

"Bye," Owen said with a chuckle, also grabbing beer bottles for the booth.

Lexie broke their kiss, laughing slightly. Mark's arm stayed around her waist as Joe brought them two drinks and congratulated Lexie on her solo surgery.

"Thanks Joe," Lexie smiled, wrapping arms around Mark's middle.

Lexie looked back up into Mark's eyes, letting the feeling consume her once again, "Hi."

"Hi," Mark laughed, letting his other arm make it's way around her small frame.

"So, you want to tell _me_ how amazing I am?" Lexie smiled cheekily, pressing her body softly against his.

Mark leaned his face down, pausing a mere inch away from her lips, "You are smart," he stated, placing a small kiss on her mouth. "You're gorgeous," he kissed her once more, "you're funny," he kissed her again, "you're amazing," and again.

On the last kiss, when Mark went to pull away and speak again, Lexie placed her hand on the back of his head and held his mouth in place, kissing him back. Lexie placed all of her exhilaration from the day, from being back in Seattle, from being back in his arms, into kissing him. Mark smirked against her lips as she played with the hair at the nape of his neck. His fingertips danced on the skin right above the waistband of her jeans.

Lexie pulled away slightly, smiling still, "Let's say bye and then get out of here, okay?"

Mark kissed her head, right above her ear and whispered, "Or we could just get out of here."

"I'm not going to suffer the wrath of pregnant Mer," Lexie smiled, grabbing her drink and Mark's hand as she pulled him towards the booth. "We'll make it quick, promise."

Mark grabbed his drink as Lexie dragged him across the room, "She'll probably never notice, come on."

Lexie clenched his hand tighter, preparing for his possible attempts at escape, "Quiet you."

He couldn't contain his smile; it seemed to just envelop him at random times, how perfect she was. She made him think, she made him laugh, she made him want to be better. As they said their goodbyes to the surgeons at the table, and Meredith and Cristina made their jibes at the couple's early leave and Lexie absorbed them with her simple grace and wit, all Mark could do was smile, even as Derek and Owen made innuendos at their sudden desertion.

With a few sarcastic retorts, accompanied by a few "boos" and thrown peanuts, Mark and Lexie bowed out of the bar and made their way to the car and back to Meredith's house.

"All I'm saying, is that if you don't know who Brian May is, I'm not sure you're mature enough to handle all of this," Mark said, raising and lowering a finger up and down his body.

Lexie rolled her eyes as they walked up the stairs, "And all I'm saying is that my maturity level is so obviously, astronomically above yours, that the fact that you question it is, in fact, ridiculous."

"So you're the mature one in this relationship?" Mark asked with a raised eyebrow, entering the attic behind Lexie.

"Um, yeah." Lexie stated seriously, throwing her bag and her coat on a small chair, before walking over to Mark and grabbing the lapels of his jacket.

"I'm not even seeing how you're getting all of this," Mark shook his head and slipped his hands into the back pockets of her jeans as she pressed herself into him.

"It's because you're not as mature as I am, this is all going over your head," Lexie stated smugly, standing on her tip-toes and pressing her lips to the side of his neck.

"I have trouble believing that," Mark stated, still wrapped up in their conversation as Lexie tried to distract him with her mouth.

"Mark," she said simply, kissing her way across his collarbone.

"You didn't even know who the guitarist in Queen was," he reasoned.

"Mark," Lexie stated again, her interest in the conversation now completely absent.

"I just, what else do you not know about good music," Mark asked in slight awe.

"Sloan!" Lexie said sternly, finally acquiring his attention. He raised his eyebrows, conveying that he was now listening, "Your girlfriend is trying to jump your bones, while you try to talk about a band that hit it's height over twenty years ago."

"You're right," Mark nodded, "you're so right." He scooped his head down and caught Lexie's mouth. Lexie let out a sigh the moment his lips touched hers. Lexie pulled the lapels of his jacket towards her and kissed him hard.

Mark walked her backwards and pressed Lexie against the closed door. He placed one hand on the side of her thigh, and hoisted her up so that she could wrap her legs around him. Lexie laughed against Mark's lips, making him smile into hers. He could argue with her, about who was more mature in the relationship or who wore the pants or who would ultimately win in a drinking game, he could argue with her about anything, as long as she would still put up a fight. Her passion, her fire, her determination combined with her whimsical and optimistic nature; it astounded him how perfect she was.

Mark walked towards the bed, Lexie still holding onto him, as she tightened her arms around his shoulders. Their mouths broke apart as Mark set her on the bed, she sat up on her elbows as he took off his jacket and pulled his shirt above his head.

Lexie smiled and once again wrapped her hands around Mark's shoulders as he lowered his body onto hers. They stared into each other's eyes, but their mouths did not join. They just laid there for a moment, taking it all in. It was weird, Lexie thought redundantly, after all of this time, _nothing had changed_. She still wanted him, she still felt connected to him, she was still his. Nothing was different.

"I love you," Lexie smiled at the way the words sounded coming from her mouth after all this time.

Mark smiled affectionately at the woman he had loved for so long. He drank in this moment, the moment she truly became his again. He whispered, "I love you, too." Before taking possession of her lips.


	8. Chapter 8

So, here's what I'm hoping: Callie is a big fat liar. Let's all cross our fingers, and maybe that's how it will all play out! But in the mean time, here's some more fluff. Thanks so much for all your reviews, favorites, and alerts!

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Whisper Hello, I Miss You Quite Terribly

The warm water cascaded down Lexie's body as she lightly ran her fingers through her hair. The brunette shivered slightly as a pair of warm lips pressed into the bare skin of her shoulder. She leaned into the warm body behind her as two strong arms wrapped around her stomach.

"We're going to get caught," Lexie laughed as Mark nuzzled his head into the crease of her neck.

"And then what?" Mark taunted, placing kisses along the top of her shoulder blades, "Are they going to punish us?"

Lexie laughed as Mark turned her around and pressed her against the shower wall, placing one hand on her waist and one on the wall beside her head. "Do you think they'll use whips? Maybe a hot iron?"

Lexie rolled her eyes as he hovered over her body, "You just think you're so clever, don't you?"

"No, no," Mark shook his head, "I _know_ I'm clever."

Lexie scrunched her face in mock annoyance, "Shut up and kiss me, smart ass."

Mark smirked as he ran his hands up and down the sides of her body, and connected his mouth to hers. He groaned as Lexie allowed her hands to navigate down Mark's back, her fingernails digging slightly into his skin. His tongue slid across her bottom lip as she opened her mouth and tasted the mint from his toothpaste he had used moments ago.

Lexie sighed in content, ever since movie night she hadn't had a single worry, she hadn't encountered a single instance of doubt. Being with Mark felt so easy, so carefree; sometimes she wondered why she had questioned their relationship in the first place. They were just so, so obviously perfect together, how had there been any instances of hindrance? She was being so apparently idiotic before, why couldn't she and Mark work? Why couldn't she put everything she had into their relationship? She had been repetitively questioning them together when she should have been embracing the feeling. How much time had she wasted chasing a reasoning that wasn't even prevalent?

Lexie smiled into the kiss as she felt Mark begin to massage the shampoo into her scalp, creating suds. Lexie laughed as she felt him playing with her hair. Suds of shampoo fell in-between their faces before Lexie pushed him away slightly, "Are you five years old?" Lexie asked with a giggle.

Instead of responding, Mark took his hands and rubbed them vigorously around on top of her head. Lexie swatted at his hands, still laughing. She took some suds from her head and patted them against his cheek. Mark shook his head slowly back and forward, nuzzling her face. Lexie laughed wholeheartedly as she attempted to move away. Mark's arms enveloped her, keeping her in place as he tried to rub his soapy face against hers.

"Lexie," Meredith's voice came from outside the door.

Lexie's eyes widened as an amused grin slid across Mark's face, Lexie held his face in one hand and covered his mouth with the other, "Yeah, Mer?" Lexie asked, trying to muffle Mark's voice as he teased her.

Meredith opened the bathroom door and walked in, "Hey, I just needed to ask you something."

Lexie shook her head with wide eyes at Mark as to command him to shut up, "Sure thing, what's up?"

Meredith walked towards the toilet and sat down on the closed porcelain bowl, "Well, yesterday Mrs. Shepard called and asked if Derek and I would want to join them for New Years in the mountains."

"Aw, look at you, bonding with the fam." Lexie mocked, keeping her hand over Mark's mouth, slapping his hands when they attempt to make their way up her chest.

"Yeah, yeah, all that maternal connection crap. Anyways, she was wondering if you would be interested in tagging along." Meredith stated, picking at her nails.

Lexie's mouth dropped, as did her hand from Mark's mouth, "She wants me to come?" Lexie asked Mark, slightly confused, but more astonished that the woman would to invite her at all.

Whereas Mark just smiled, Meredith responded, "Yeah, she said she really wants to see you again, and that you're good with Mark, and that you should be welcomed to the family properly. And then she said that I'm way better than you and way cooler because I'm the one continuing the Shepard family line, so don't even try to be her favorite." Meredith added the last part in good humor, rubbing her hands up and down her swollen belly.

"Welcomed to the family?" Lexie repeated, ignoring the latter part of her statement, a small smile tugging at her lips. Mark shook his head, his smile still intact. He lowered his head and began to press small kisses against her collarbone. Her hands went to his hair, running her fingers up his scalp.

"Yeah, so I said I'd asked you and get back to her, so what should I tell her?" Meredith asked. "And, just a fair warning, Derek and I, as well as all of Derek's sisters will be there; most of which, Mark has, in fact, slept with."

Mark paused his wandering lips, waiting for Lexie's reaction. He didn't look up from his current position, his head still resting against her shoulders. Lexie pursed her lips, not sure as to whether she should be as amused by Meredith's statement, or slightly horrified. "Yeah, I got that fact. Thanks, Mer." Lexie stated, her hands lying still on Mark's neck. A slightly amused smile finally began to break out across her face, "I'd love to go."

Meredith slapped her hands on her pajama-clad thighs, and pushed herself up off the toilet, "Swell," she stated sarcastically, "I'll let her know." Meredith made her way towards the door, before stopping at the threshold, "Oh, and Mark, you're obviously expected to come to."

With that last comment Meredith waddled out of the bathroom and closed the door. Lexie bursted out in laughter, slightly mortified but mostly entertained. Mark poked his head up from his girlfriend's shoulders, "You're right, we were caught and I was punished."

Lexie laughed once again and lightly pushed Mark so that they both were immersed under the spray of the showerhead. Lexie began to wash the soap from Mark's head, causally making upward movements with his hair between her fingers. Mark looked at her, his eyes conveying affection and love, and a hint of concern.

"I'm ready for it," Mark stated, letting his hands fall to her waist.

"Ready for what?" Lexie asked, a slightly perplexed expression adorning her face.

"Whatever you've got," he said simply, playing with the cascade of locks that fell down to her mid-back. "Lay it on me."

Lexie shook her head at his oddity, "I really have no idea what you're talking about."

Mark shook his head, "I'm prepared for whatever you throw at me."

Lexie cocked her head to the side, "Are you alright?" She asked, washing the remainder of soap from her hair, before squirting some conditioner in her hand and rubbing it through her brown mane.

"Aren't you going to yell at me? Like, 'how dare you sleep with those skanky Shepard sisters. The nerve.' Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, 'go to hell'?" Mark asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

Lexie scrunched up her face, letting the water wash the conditioner from her hair, "You're making it sound like you slept with all of them at the same time."

Mark stared the woman before him down, "You're not going to yell at me?"

Lexie shrugged and turned off the faucet, "I don't have a reason to. Your past, along with your reputation, isn't exactly a secret, babe." Lexie said with a small laugh.

"But I still did it, and now we'll all be together again, does that not unnerve you in the slightest?" Mark asked, trailing his fingers up and down the small of her back as she removed herself from the shower. Mark followed her movements and picked up a towel that laid atop the toilet seat.

"Should I be?" Lexie asked rhetorically, Mark reached around her wet frame and wrapped the towel securely around her. "I've never not trusted you," she continued, grabbing another towel from above the toilet and handing it to him, "You say we're in a monogamous relationship, I trust you. Who you were is not who you are, there's a difference; maybe it's not apparent to you, but it's obvious to me. I trust you, you should try trusting yourself, too."

After fastening a towel around himself, Mark's arms, once again, pulled Lexie into him. "So, you swear you're not mad?"

Lexie placed her hands on his bare chest and looked up into his eyes, "Tell me you love me."

Mark leaned down and kissed the woman before him slowly, trying to communicate the truth of his impending statement. He pulled away, all too soon in Lexie's opinion, and pressed his forehead against hers, "I love you, more than anything in the world."

Lexie pushed herself up on her tiptoes and briefly pressed her mouth against his briefly, "Then, I'm not mad. As long as you agree to trust me, and trust you, the way I trust you."

"Always," Mark stated simply, lowering his mouth onto hers.

Lexie kissed him back for a minute, before wriggling herself out of his embrace, convinced if they didn't leave the bathroom now, they would surely end up in the shower again. And while that probably wasn't the worst thing that could happen, her skin was already pruned and her mortification for the day was just about filled; she didn't need any other of the housemates to walk in on them. "So it's agreed," Lexie stated opening the bathroom door, "neither one of us will be jealous or unnecessarily angry for dumb things?"

Mark didn't respond as they made their way of the bathroom, coming face-to-face with Jackson and April, of whom were about to enter the bathroom themselves. "Good morning," Lexie said enthusiastically, walking past the pair as their mouths fell slightly agape. Jackson's eyes followed Lexie's, only slightly covered, form, as April's eyes stayed glued to Mark's bare chest.

April blushed a little and headed into the bathroom as Mark raised an eyebrow, catching her in the act. He then turned to Jackson and pushed him back slightly, so his shoulder hit the wall, "You keep staring Avery, I have ways of making your death seem like an accident."

Jackson mumbled something before following April into the bathroom. Lexie stood at the end of the hall, a hand placed on her hip and an amused expression across her features. Mark shrugged before walking towards her, "I'm not a perfect person."


End file.
